The break up

Recieved the sms from you this morning.

You said, you love me, care abt me, & you only want gd things for me.
You said, thru these incidents, its obvious we really can't communicate.
You said, I even feel that you're judging me & focusing on my bad points only.
You said, you will listen to me, you will leave everything to me, trust that I know what I am doing and that I will settle my problem.
You said, you will also pray for me so that all the things I say and do will come true and everything will turn out well for me..
You said, but you really can't try to work things out anymore...
You said, Its too hurtful for you to quarrel with me like that everytime we talked about my sensitive issues.
You said, you'll always be my friend and a phone call away if I need my help.


I wanna say,

Thank you for loving and caring for me. Thank you for only wanting good things for me. But you never say these words to me till crucial moments like these.

Yes, something is really wrong about the way we communicate. I still dunno what went wrong or where. Maybe I'm too simple minded about things. Maybe I am just not sensitive enough when you think I should be. Maybe because you always believe actions speaks louder than words, while I still dying to hear sugar-coated sweet nothings from you. Boy, girls do fall in love through their ears... (provided words are being said by someone they wanna hear from). Or maybe the way we see things are different.

Yes, I feel that you're judging me and seeing my bad points only. I know you didn't. You said it last night. But I also did said why I felt that way. Cause you say sweet nothings to me, no more. Okie, to be fair, I should say lesser. Not as often as you did in the past. Its to the extend, you will only call me baby, ask me to drink more water and rest more. Full-stop.

Thank you for leaving my problems to myself. I really appreciate that. I grew up in the way, I never like to share my problems with anyone. Even if I do, I never want anyone to worry for me or even try settle the problem for me. Cause I never want to be anyone's burden. Never ever. I will do settle things myself. I will learn to be a better person that way.

You really can't try work things out anymore. I'm sorry, I can't accept your reason. But like I said, I'll let you go. It's okie, don't worry. I'll be okie on my own.

It is too hurtful each time we quarrel when we talk about my sensitive issues? How many sensitive issues you think I have? I only know of one. Thats about my baby. I got worked up because you said I am not ready to be a mum because I don't even know how to plan my own financial issue. Yes, I know I have issues with money. Cause to me, money is never everything. Money is fuckin' important, I jolly well know that. I have changed in the way I handle money, not in any big fuckin' major way, but I am happy that I did changed. And I can do whatever I am doing now, its because I am still single. Naturally I only worry about myself. I do enjoy being poor at times, cause those are the moments when I will really feel more appreciative about little things in life. Nvm, I know you may not understand how that feel.
And being a Mommy is not just about $$ issues. I'm sorry but to me, noone, I say, noone can say that to me, cause noone fuckin knows how much I really did suffered and noone knows how much I did for my child. Noone really knows how much I fuckin' struggled and fight for my child. Fuckin' noone!

And thanks for wanting to be my friend always. But don't worry, you won't hear me calling you for help. Cause I know I will not..


Yes, I know I may sound stubborn to you now. But thats the way I am. I give everything I can in this relationship. I tried and tried so hard, but its always you who wanna end it. I don't have the strength to pull myself up and wanna try again. I admit my defeat.

And do take care. And all the best, friend.

Good bye.. *smile*