Back on the road...

Its scary...

Haven't been behind the wheels for 3 years..

This morning lesson was scary..

My hands are still trembling like hell...

Gosh...

Stop viewing me..

Boy.. We both know that she has your Friendster's account password..

Can you stop her from using it to view mine?

Or should I "block" you for the sake of all of us?

Dear Santa..

Dearest Santa...

I wanna have a laptop or an ipod for this Xmas!!!

I promise I'll be good....

I've learnt to keep my big mouth shut...

Sometimes, its good not to say things out...

Let those feelings remain in my heart...

Noone will never know...


shhhh....

"Why would you wanna leave earlier? Don't wanna see me anymore?"

"Yeah..."

Sorry.. I lied..

I hate..

Rainy days...
Rain makes me moody..
Makes me feel like crying..
Makes me think about you..
Makes me sad..
Makes me wanna cuddle up yet, "where the f*ck are you?"


Thunder...
Freaks the hell out of me..
Wakes me up in the middle of the nights..
Makes snow tremble like a vibrator..



I miss my Sun..
My lovely Sunshine..
I need my Sun badly..
Bad enough to make me cry...

I know I will freak you out to let you know this....



I know who she is...



I really do...

It has always been just the two of us...


But you never believe in me...

Soft wool carpet...

"you're like a soft wool carpet.... "

Alright, I have had enough..

I'm not a soft wool carpet that you can step on it, rub your feet, soiled it and leave just like that..


*damn*

I need to grow my horns soon...

You've changed...

"You've changed..."

Sorry to give you that "half-smile" response..

Never expect you to say that..

Izit a good thing?

Or a bad thing?

I dunno..

40

Hitting 40 soon...

Not a problem...

Especially when you're all alone with too much thoughts...

& ciggies are the only ones hanging around you..

*damn*

Too much love.. Too much pain..

Pain...

To know you are with her now..

To know that we cannot keep in touch for now..

To accept the reality..

To know that I still feel for you..

To accept that I can never forget you..

To realise that no matter how hard I tried, you're always on my mind..

To feel the hurt, yet I know I can do nothing about it..

Nothing at all.. Only pray that one day the pain will go away..



Grateful....

You stop hurting me in any ways..

You still care for me as a close friend, you promised.

You understood that it's not my fault for the things that happened between you and her..

You spared a thought for me...

You didn't lemme know too much when I ask..

Thank you so much...



Now that the situation has "force" us to stay really apart.
I am glad too.
Just let things end this way..
Let us still have sweet memories of each other..
Let me go search for my own happiness..
Let you start a new happy relationship..

I still care for you..
But I will not contact you.
I know you will not contact me too..
I understand, hope you understand how I feel too.

It's just matter of time..
Matter of time for the pain to go away..
I know.

Really hope that you will cherish this friendship as much as I do.
You are still someone I would love to turn to when I'm in doubt.
But I know you can't now. I understand..

Real friends don't have to keep in touch everyday..
Just don't forget that you promised to send me off when I'm ready to go..

Take real good care..
Remember to take your Vit C and drink more water..
Remember to take your meals on time..
Remember to take soya milk when your gastric hurts..
Remember to sleep early often..
Remember to be careful when you blade..( be careful and make it back in one piece!)
Remember to use the hot pack and medicated plasters when your back hurts..
Remember to remember that you're capable.. You sure can take up the new responsibilities in your new role! you have the leadership! you sure can do it well! I believe you can, so you must believe in yourself too! Jia you!! *wink*
Remember to stay happy..

Remember,
remember to remember this close friend of yours, me..