How deep is your love

Yah.. That very night when I went out of control.
That very night you drove me nuts..
That very night I drove to your place..

I saw..
I experienced it.
Now I know,
How deep is your love for me.

Stop telling me you never knew.
Stop telling me that she's pregnant.
Stop telling me that you have no choice.

That is the final.
I got to move on.

Let go of me.
And face the fact.
We are never meant to be.

Simple Love

Isn't Love suppose to be simple?
A feeling between two persons.
Just loving each other?

I find that its getting harder as I grow older.
I really thought this time I got the right one. Then again, the truth is, I did not.
Getting involved at the beginning is already wrong. But he said they are seperated.
Getting more and more in love is the wrong move. Cause I find it harder to leave him.

I thought through the whole relationship again and again and again and again..
I prayed about it again and again and again and again..
I knew what I should do but I always listen to what he has to say and then its all back to square one again..

The agurments are the same. Again and again.
He will say things to spite me and I will say things to piss him off.. Again and again and again..
I am really exhausted..
I am such a lousy fighter..

Whatever I said has no creditibilty.
Whatever he promised seems to be empty.
"Start a family.." that is the most impossible of all.
How am I suppose to believe that?

He does not seems to know what he really wants.
But I never doubt that he really feels for me.
Neither do I ever believe that he feels NOTHING for her.
"You can't have the best of the both worlds.."
Sound so familiar.. Isn't that what I told him before?

What I want, I told him truthfully.
He knew that is what he cannot give to me, "for now.." he said.
Then when? Can I give a dateline?
Let's say, wait till the child is born. Will he be able to show me whatever he promised?
I doubt so. I can see, it will be another beginning of another story.
A story with no ending.

I have no more tears. I am really tired.
Tired of thinking of you.
Tired of thinking of them.
Tired of acting deaf when they called me names.
Tired of keeping things to myself.
Tired of thinking he will be mine soon.
Tired of having to pray for them.
Tired of being generous.
Really tired. Really.

I find it so hard to let go. Cause I know I feel for him dearly.
And I know this is not fair.
I know I should just let go.
Thank you for making it so easy this time.

My heart was all numb when he said those hurting words.
I cannot feel anything anymore.
I wish I can just have him in front of me, so I can just hug him tight and listen to his heartbeat once again.
And I know now, I will not have the chance to anymore.

"Think for yourself.." they all said. I tried. I really did.
Yeah, since he cannot give the happiness I want. I should.
I should have someone that I can proudly post all our lovely photos on Facebook.
With him, can I?

Typing this with tears obstructing isn't easy..
Time will heal all wounds, that's what they all said.
I am really really tired.
I have no strength to carry on this...
Really tired..