I'm alright..

I am really alright now...

Sorry to have made you guys worried about me..

But I am strong, yes I am!

Whatever happened, hurt me like crazy.. till I nearly lost my mind! *freak*

But now, I see things more clearly..

Learning things I've learnt before, understand alot more and learning new things too..



I understand noone wants this to happen..
I know that noone expect me to be so hurt, including you.. (i can hide feelings pretty well!)
I learnt to see things your way.. understand what you really want and everything..
But I do know that it's really pretty late to say all these now..

Still I am really so glad that I can find the courage to tell you all that I've told you that night.
I am so glad that we had a "beautiful ending"..
I am so grateful that you are still willing to be in my life, as my close friend..

Whatever it is..
I know life still has to carry on, I need to work towards my own dreams and goals..
But like I've said, I will not give up on you too..
Cause you made me see & learn so much, I have a dream to share with you too..

But the feelings will not be the same now..
Told you before, I am selfish when it comes to love..
I can only want someone whom I know truly loves me,
someone whom I can trust not to let my hand go..

So now is really not the right time..
We still feels for each other but at the same time,
have our insecurities and doubts..

So it is right for us to carry on with life 1st..
we dunno what our future maybe..
Noone knows...
But I do know,
if God ever permits us to be together again one day..
we will cherish each other even more..
Maybe then we will be even more in love..
Maybe one day...

I am still sad.. Yes I am..
So I will wanna keep myself occupied..
But no matter how hard I try, I know you are always on my mind.

I am grateful enough that we are still talking and sharing..

Thank God for that..

I will continue to walk down the path of unknown future myself.. & be strong..

As for the Aussie plan, you know its always part of what I wanna do. The chance is here now. I will give my best and get going. Yes, partly to leave here, partly so I can "escape".. But utimately, I wanna do it for myself. I wanna have that kind of experience of working overseas and see more of life..

So I guess it is not a bad thing afterall that we've broke up.. Its not fair for me to ask you to wait for me while I go.. I know, sometimes, long distance relatinships don't last cause humans do get scared of being alone @ times.

For all these that have happened, I have learnt to see the good and bad about it.

Good, I have the "push" factor to go for my dreams and goals.. I've "grown-up".. I have experienced another love.. I have more to learn about life.. I know what I really want in my life.. I have a clearer understanding of myself.. And I do really love you, no doubt..

Bad, I lost you for now.. no more waking up seeing your face.. no more sharing moments of joy and sadness.. no more "I'll follow you to Aussie.."

But we both know we still care for each other.. still cherish this friendship.. I believe I cannot be too greedy to ask for more..

Everyday, I will still think about you.. Its such a pity.. such a sad love story..

But...

Whatever it will be..

I'll leave it to God..

I am clear of what I want now, I'm glad I realised it before I'm 40!

I will continue to work hard for my dreams and pray hard for that "one day.."

You're still the one I hope I can spend my life with *wink*

P/S: It really helps to know that you still care.. It's really nice to be able to hear from you, especially when you call me.. So do gimme a ring whenever you miss me.. I'll be so glad to hear the "cuppy cake" ringtone again! *wink*

Do take really good care of yourself, okie.. use the hot pack and plasters when your back hurts.. and continue to take your Vit C okie! try sleep early often!