Grandpa's admitted again..

Thought of bringing grandpa to the hospital for a check up cause he had a fall few days back and had a bump on his forehead. Observed him for 2 days and realized he vomited few times. To put my mind at ease, I need a doctor to see him and hopefully do a scan for him.

As usual, I always have to wait at the A&E. Not going to mention which hospital, cause I don't like the place. I have to bring grandpa there because all his records are there. If not, I would have send him to SGH. Anyway, I am really pissed with the way they handle waiting relatives (read: waiting for long hours, without updating the anxious relatives). I, as a healthcare worker knows how things go. I tried to understand their situation but they are way too slow and incompetent. I nearly become a bitch there.

From 4pm to 11pm, that was how long I had to stay in the hospital. All by myself. Only in the late evening then a kind friend and my sister came over. Yeah, my dad was around, but he came and went off, sick of waiting.

I guess staying alone for too long hours, pissed with the staffs, made my mind go bersak. I had to suppress my feelings and keep myself sane by walking to corners for a few puffs. There was noone I can speak to or call, except for updating my brother and dad about grandpa's condition.

I just feel that noone simply cares. Noone. They just think that all they have to do is to fork out the cash and I will take care of the rest. Or maybe I expected too much from them. Isn't grandpa their dad?!

I am not the only one who know that grandpa had a fall. But noone wants to take the initative to bring him to the doctor. I am really upset about this.

Now the doctors decided to keep him hospitalized as his sodium level is low and he looked dehydrated to them. Then only when he is hospitalized, the doctor decided to do a scan for his bump. I am pretty upset that the doctor in the A&E did not do the scan and told me that the bump will go away by itself.

Thank God that I brought him to the hospital, if not noone will know that he has a new health issue.

I am really sad about everything now. I cannot concentrate at my own stuffs and grandpa is my main concern now. Since noone wanna take the responsibility, I will.

I can only pray that God will have some mercy on grandpa. I know God has been kind enough but I really hope that grandpa can have a few more years to live. I want grandpa to see my kids. I know its really not possible, but I really pray for that. There are too many things I haven't got the chance to do with my grandparents yet. So God, please bless my grandparents. Please protect them and keep them safe. God, please keep them healthy and strong. Please God.

I can't help thinking of negative things yesterday. I really love my grandparents. I really dunno what to do if either of my grandparents will to have any mishap. I really pray every night for God's mercy and blessings.

Grandpa and grandma have both played their important roles in my life. In fact, more than most grandparents do in their grandchildrens' life. Grandpa had always been "saving" me from sleeping at the corridors. I will never forget how he would to bring us, in turns, to drink coffee with him after dinners. And we would bug him for the mini motorcars rides. Grandpa would order either milo or holick for us. He would pour it into the saucer and blow it cool for us to drink.

I really love grandpa and I don't wanna see any bad thing happen to him. Each time he is hospitalized, I am so fearfully that he may not be discharged. Yet, I have to show him that cheerful side of me. And to others, a strong side of me.

I remember the last time he was hospitalized, cousin mei cried in front of me. I felt really upset too but I had to suppress my own feelings in order to console her. Glad to know that I can act pretty well.

It's time to go hospital now. For any of you guys reading this, I don't need anything, just a prayer for my grandparents. Thanks!